Anger and Rage: Cancer Emotions of the Day

I am not generally an optimistic or positive-attitude kind of person. So I was quite surprised that I wasn't immediately full of pessimistic thoughts upon hearing that I have lung cancer. I was ready to fight as hard as I could as long as there was an attainable goal still in sight. However, today is a day with no optimism.... only rage.

Image Courtesy of Stefan-Xp

The thoracic surgeon's report that the cancer seemed localized gave me some hope for a bit of extra time with treatment. He wanted to see that treament happen very quickly. Small Cell lung cancer grows and spreads very rapidly. Early treatment gives the best outcome. 

So why in hell did we have to call the oncologist ourselves to see what the hold-up was?? And while I had been hoping to start treatment even as early as sometime this week, my appointments with the radiation oncologist and the one who deals with chemo are a whole friggin' week away!

C'mon! I don't have a week to waste!

Now paranoia creeps in and I wonder if I am having to wait a week to even be seen because I don't have insurance. In spite of what many people in the good ol' USA think, it isn't true that the poor get all these health care freebies at their expense. I am looking at a pile of medical bills already for all the tests and labs and nowhere on those bills do I see, "Wait! You're poor so you can ignore this bill!"

And I DO believe it's possible that people like me get pushed to the bottom of pile, beneath those folks who do have insurance.

Like an idiot, after finding out how long I still have to wait, I decided to Google 'survival time for Small Cell lung cancer without treatment.' And the thrilling, exciting answer is.... 2 to 4 months! 

So, yeah. I am furious! With this type of cancer, that extra week could mean the difference between getting a fair amount of time to finish living or a pitifully much smaller time.